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  For everyone whose life has been touched by cancer in some way. I long for a world in which everyone beats it. Until then, be brave and stick together.

  Chapter One

  FOR AS LONG AS Heather Fowler could remember, living in Manhattan had been The Dream.

  The one she talked about as a precocious eight-year-old when her mom’s best friend, turned chatty by one too many glasses of the Franzia she chugged like water, asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.

  At eight, Heather hadn’t been exactly sure about the what in her future. But she absolutely knew the where.

  New York City.

  Manhattan, specifically.

  The obsession had started with Friends reruns, and had only grown as she’d moved on to her mother’s Sex and the City DVD collection, which she’d watched covertly while her mother had worked double shifts at the diner.

  People in New York were vibrant, sparkling. They were doing something. Important things. Fun things.

  She wanted to be one of them.

  By the time Heather was in high school, The Dream was still going strong.

  While the overachievers had dreams of going to Mars, and the smaller-thinking ones had aspirations of getting to the mall, for Heather it had always and only been NYC.

  Her mother had never pretended to understand Heather’s dream. Joan Fowler had lived her entire life in Merryville, Michigan, with only two addresses: her lower-middle-class parents’ split-level and the trailer she’d rented when her parents had kicked her out, four months pregnant.

  And while Heather had wanted something more for her mother—something more for herself—than hand-me-down clothes and a two-bedroom trailer that smelled constantly like peroxide (courtesy of her mother’s hairdressing side job), Joan had always seemed content.

  But to Heather’s mother’s credit, Joan had never been anything less than encouraging.

  If you want New York, you do New York. Simple as that.

  And so Heather had.

  Though it hadn’t been simple. There had been detours. College at Michigan State. A tiny apartment in Brooklyn Heights with four roommates that, while technically located in New York City, wasn’t quite the urbane sophistication she’d pictured.

  But Heather’s resolve had never wavered. In one of her college internships, a mentor had told Heather to dress for the job she wanted, not the one she had.

  Heather did that, but she’d also broadened the idiom: Live the life you want, not the one you have.

  In this case, that meant saving up enough to cover rent that was more expensive than she could comfortably afford. Yet. More than she could afford yet. Because Heather was close to a promotion from assistant wedding planner to actual wedding planner. She could feel it.

  The apartment was going to help her get there.

  An apartment in zip code 10128, just east of Central Park.

  She’d done it. She’d achieved The Dream, or at least part of it.

  And it was . . .

  Terrible.

  It was two a.m., and she wasn’t even close to anything resembling slumber. Heather’s eyes snapped open after yet another failed sleep attempt. Her nostrils flared in an unsuccessful bid for patience before she turned and banged her palm against the wall over her Ikea headboard.

  She’d purposely left the walls of her bedroom white because she’d read it was soothing. The curtains were also white, as were the area rug at the foot of the bed, the flowers on her table, and the lamp shades.

  White is soothing, white is soothing, white is soothing . . .

  She waited. And waited. There was a pause, and Heather held her breath.

  Then: Bum ba-dum bum bum bum . . .

  White wasn’t soothing enough for this shit.

  Heather fought the urge to scream. Was the music actually getting louder? Was that even possible?

  Apparently. Because whoever lived on the other side of her bedroom wall either couldn’t hear her banging or straight-up didn’t care.

  Heather closed her eyes and tried to tell herself that it was peaceful. Tried to pretend that the mediocre pounding of the drums and the squeal of some sort of guitar was a lullaby.

  Her eyes snapped open again. Nope.

  Heather threw back the covers—a fancy new white duvet for her fancy new place—and shoved her feet into her slippers as she pulled a hair band off the nightstand and dragged her messy dark blond curls into a knot on top of her head. She slid on her glasses, threw on a gray hoodie that she didn’t bother to zip, opened the front door of her apartment, and made the short journey to the door of 4A.

  The building was old, hence the thin walls, but it was also recently renovated, hence the modern-style doorbell, which Heather pressed firmly with one manicured finger.

  And again, when there was no answer.

  And again and again and again.

  She pressed it until her finger started to cramp, and until—

  Whoa.

  The door jerked open, and Heather was suddenly face-to-face with a male chest. A shirtless male chest, replete with rippling abs and pectoral muscles that she’d seen the likes of only in magazine ads or on billboards. An upper body so spectacularly shaped that it was downright tacky.

  Yes, tacky was definitely what it was.

  Not hot. Not hot at all.

  Heather ordered her gaze upward and found it meeting the greenish-blue eyes of a dude who looked highly amused for someone who’d nearly had his doorbell torn off.

  The guy leaned one forearm—every bit as tackily muscular as the chest—against the doorjamb as the other scratched idly at his six-pack.

  “Hi there,” he said, giving her a crooked smile. It was a good smile. It was a good voice, too, but Heather was soooooo not in the mood to be charmed.

  “Let me guess,” she said, gifting him with a wide fake smile. “You’re in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, maybe it’s taking a little longer to get the corner office than you hoped, and you decided to scratch the itch by, wait for it . . . starting a band.”

  He was seemingly oblivious to her sleep-deprived bitchiness, as his smile only grew wider. “You’re the new neighbor.”

  She pointed at her front door just a few feet away. “4C.”

  “Nice,” he said appreciatively.

  For a second she could have sworn his eyes drifted down toward her chest, but when she narrowed her eyes back up at him, he was all innocent smiles.

  “So that’s a yes on the new band, then?”

  Instead of answering her question, he extended his hand. “Josh Tanner.”

  “Pretty manners for someone with no neighborly consideration,” she muttered as she reluctantly put her hand in his. “Heather Fowler.”

  “Heather Fowler,” he repeated slowly, as though trying to decide whether or not her name fit and coming up undecided.

  Before she could respond, he reached out, his thumb and forefinger tugging at a curl that had come loose from her messy bun. “Pretty.”

  “Okay, enough,” she snapped. “Are you going to stop with the music or not?”

  “Well now, that’s hard to say.” He crossed his arms over his impressive chest. “I’m very volatile, what with the . .
. what was it? Quarter-life crisis?”

  “Just keep it down,” she said wearily, rubbing at her forehead.

  “Mrs. Calvin never used to mind,” he said.

  “Who the hell is Mrs. Calvin?”

  “Lady who lived in 4C before you. She used to bake banana bread every Wednesday and make me a loaf. I don’t suppose you bake?”

  “Was Mrs. Calvin deaf?” Heather asked, ignoring the baking question. She did like to bake, but not for this guy, no matter how great the upper body.

  “Definitely,” Josh confirmed. “Turned her hearing aid off every night at eight p.m., which is when my band and I started practice.”

  “Aha!” she said, pointing a finger in his face. “You are in a band.”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, I need you guys to knock it off.”

  “Oh, they’re not here tonight,” he said simply. “That was just me practicing along with one of our recordings. Can’t get the intro quite right.”

  “Can you get it right some other time?”

  “It’s Friday night, babe. You need to loosen up. Want to come in for a beer?”

  “No,” she said, sounding out the word slowly with what she thought was admirable patience. “What I want is for you to stop the hideous music so that when my alarm goes off in four hours, I won’t have to stop by here and kill you before I go to work.”

  “Work? On a Saturday? Dare I hope this means you’re a professional baker and like to get in early to make delicious sweet buns?”

  “Do I look like the type that makes delicious sweet buns?”

  “You look like the type that has delicious sweet buns.”

  Heather made a face. “You’re a pig.”

  “I’m lashing out,” he said with a grin. “My ego’s stinging from the fact that you didn’t show any appreciation for how hard I work on all of this.”

  He spread his arms to the side and glanced down at his body.

  Heather rolled her eyes. Great body or not, this guy was disgusting. “What normally happens when a woman bangs on your door at two in the morning?” she asked irritably.

  He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “Never mind,” she muttered, embarrassed at having set herself up. “Can you please, please just shut up until after I leave at seven tomorrow?”

  “To go . . . to the bakery?” he asked hopefully.

  Yep. It was official. The new neighbor had to die.

  Heather let out an audibly annoyed sigh. “To Park Avenue United Methodist Church to ensure the florist is there with the pew bows and to set up the guest book table, and to the bride room to make sure it doesn’t still smell like onions. And then to the Bleecker Hotel to make sure the gift table’s under way, that the florist is on time, that the caterers will be able to get into the kitchen, that they set up the good dance floor, not the crappy one that splits right down the middle, because if they do, so help me God—”

  “And this is why modern men avoid the altar,” Josh interrupted. “You’re one scary-ass bride, 4C.”

  “I’m not the bride,” she grumbled, rubbing her increasingly tired eyes. “I’m the assistant wedding planner.”

  “Assistant wedding planner. What does that mean?”

  It means I need to get some freaking sleep so I can become the real deal.

  “I see,” Josh said, even though she hadn’t said anything. He leaned toward her. “You want to come in and talk about it?”

  “Better idea. How about you go to bed like any normal person over the age of twenty-two,” she snapped.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” he said, stepping aside and sweeping an arm inward as though to usher her inside.

  Heather put a hand over her heart and made a dramatic gasping sound. “You mean . . . you mean a big handsome hunk like you would actually bed little old me?”

  “Like I said, gotta verify that the sweet buns are, in fact, sweet,” he said, flashing her another one of those easy grins.

  Heather’s fake smile dropped, and she stepped forward, getting in his face and ignoring—mostly—the heat radiating off him. “I’m going back into my apartment, and I’m going to sleep, and if I hear one more peep from your side of the wall, I’m going to get my hands on a loaf of Mrs. Calvin’s glorious banana bread and shove it up your—”

  Josh’s head dropped to hers, and he stamped a kiss on her mouth. Hard.

  Heather lifted her hands to shove him back, and they made it as far as his shoulders before she ­registered that it was a good kiss. A really good kiss. His mouth was warm and firm, and he tasted a bit like chocolate and a really good time.

  For a second, Heather was tempted. It had been a while since she’d done something fun, just for her. Something that didn’t have to do with the Wedding Belles, or moving to Manhattan, or making sure her mom remembered to pay her bills, or . . .

  Reality crept back in just as her new neighbor’s skilled lips nudged hers open.

  She pulled back before he could deepen the kiss and make things really interesting. “What the hell was that?” she spat at him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

  Josh’s shoulders lifted. “The quickest way to shut you up, apparently. Should have tried it five minutes ago before you started rambling about bows and pews.”

  “Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “Let’s make a deal. I’ll shut up about bows if you stop the music. Deal?”

  “You need to lighten up, Assistant Wedding Planner.”

  “Yeah, we’re not calling me that,” she said, already turning toward her apartment.

  “Hey, 4C,” he called, just as she was about to step back into her place.

  In spite of her better judgment, Heather glanced over. “What?”

  He winked. “See you around.”

  His door shut with a firm click, leaving Heather staring like an idiot with her mouth gaping open. She clenched her fists, walked back into her new apartment, locked the door, and got back into bed. But while it was finally quiet, her mind was racing a million miles a minute.

  What. In the fresh hell. Was that?

  Chapter Two

  HONEY, IS THAT YOUR third cup of coffee?” Brooke Baldwin asked. Heather’s friend and colleague gave her a curious look.

  Heather let out a snort. “Try fifth,” she said sourly, topping off her cup from the elegant silver carafe the Wedding Belles always put out for the various vendors on wedding days. Caffeine didn’t necessarily make the never-ending chaos of a Saturday wedding easy, but it certainly helped.

  “Okay, well at least eat something to soak up all the caffeine,” her friend said, plucking a muffin out of the pastry basket and handing it and a napkin to Heather.

  “I’m not hungry,” Heather said, lifting her coffee cup to her lips and turning to watch with a critical eye as some of the florist’s assistants scattered the gold glittery fall leaves on the table with less care than Heather would have liked.

  The muffin reappeared in front of Heather’s face. “Come on. It’s delicious. Banana walnut.”

  “Ugh, then I definitely don’t want it,” Heather said, the mention of banana reminding her of the reason she was on her fifth cup of coffee. The adolescent-brained nutcase in 4A.

  “What do you have against bananas?” Brooke asked, taking a huge bite of the rejected muffin.

  Heather liked that about Brooke—the way she ate whatever she wanted to eat, no apologies. Chocolate, cupcakes, banana muffins . . . all fair game. Sometimes Heather wondered if it was all the sweetness going into Brooke’s body that resulted in the constant output of sweetness. She doubted it though. Heather was no stranger to chocolate herself, and she had a serious weakness for ice cream, but there was no sweet goodness flowing through her veins.

  Brooke Baldwin though—she was good people. Brooke was the newest member of the Belles. She’d mov
ed from California to New York this past January to escape a doozy of an ex-fiancé, and Alexis, the owner of the Belles, had snapped her up to join the team.

  If Heather was all-the-way honest with herself, and she usually was, she’d been a tiny bit resentful when her boss told her that they were hiring a new wedding planner rather than promoting one they already had. *cough, Heather, cough.*

  Brooke had come on board simply as wedding planner. Not assistant wedding planner, as Heather had. It had stung, a tad, knowing that Heather had put in two years of her life with the Belles and had been outranked by a newcomer.

  But after about five seconds of looking at Brooke’s portfolio, she knew that the woman had deserved absolutely every bit of the full title. Not only had she started her own company in Los Angeles, but Brooke was good. Really good.

  It helped that Heather and Brooke had hit it off almost immediately, and it was hard to hate someone as nice and decent as Brooke. Case in point, Brooke had managed to land the hottest, richest bachelor in the city within just a few months of arriving. Seth Tyler had hired the Belles to plan his sister’s wedding, and Brooke had been given the plum job as her first assignment. Only, that wedding didn’t happen once it turned out the sister’s fiancé wasn’t quite who she thought he was. It hadn’t mattered. By then, the billionaire hotel god had fallen hard and fast for Brooke’s sunny California girl charm.

  They now lived downtown in a gorgeously renovated old building, complete with a built-in bar, a hot tub big enough to fit a family of four, and no wannabe musician neighbor.

  Heather would be seriously hating Brooke right about now if the gorgeous blonde wasn’t such a good friend.

  “How about I go buy you a breakfast sandwich with some protein?” Brooke said around another bite of muffin. “You’re looking hangry.”

  Damn. She was kind of hangry.

  “Nah, I’ll go get it,” Heather said distractedly as she noted that some of the gold chair bows looked a little crooked and reached out to fix one.

  “No way,” Brooke said, washing down her muffin with a sip from her bottle of water. “This is your gig. I’ll get the dang sandwich.”